Friday, January 28, 2011

peace during sadness

a few weeks ago, we found out some surprising and wonderful news...we were going to have another little one...i was filled with so many different emotions...i was nervous and excited!  we starting thinking...oh my, how are we going to afford this, we're going to need another crib, we're going to have to change the guest room into a baby room, we're going to need a double many things to think about...all of which we knew would someday happen...we were super excited...then, a few days later i had a miscarriage...i thought that's what was happening from my symptoms at that time, but it wasn't confirmed until i went to the doctor...then a new set of emotions came rolling in...sadness and disbelief...sadness for the baby we'd never meet...and disbelief, thinking maybe i still was pregnant and the test was wrong.  granted, i was only a few weeks along, but the sadness was still there. 
yet, amidst the roller coaster of emotions, i had a peace. i know this peace was from the Lord. it's the only kind of peace that comforts a broken heart.  it's the only kind of peace that assures an anxious mind.

rejoice in the Lord always; again i will say, rejoice. let your reasonableness be known to everyone.  the Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  phillipians 4:4-7 (esv)

in that assurance, i was reminded that the Lord is in control. 
He is the author of life. 

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. for by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or ruler or authorities-all things were created through him and for him. and he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. colossians 1:15-17 (esv)

i also thought about how gracious and merciful the Lord was to us in this time.  i know this might sound bad to some, but i was so thankful that the Lord allowed this to happen so early in the pregnancy instead of months later.  i know of family members who've had miscarriages many months into their pregnancy, and i couldn't image what that must have been like for them, but God was with them in that, carry them through it. 
He is a good and merciful God.  He is gracious to His children.
i'm so thankful for His mercy and His grace.

gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful.  psalm 116:5

because of his mercy, grace, assurance, and peace, i'm ok. i was reminded of what the Lord has already given to me: my salvation, a wonderful husband, a sweet, healthy boy, a caring family and amazing friends. yes, i'm sad, but i can rejoice in what the Lord has done. 
i can be glad.

i will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. my soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!  psalm 34:1-3 (esv)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

jumbo chocolate chip cookies

let me just say,
i love cookies and i love baking! 
put those two loves together, and we have some major weight gaining days on our hands!  i really like trying new recipes and lately, i've been a little obsessed infatuated devoted to this recipe...almost to the point that i should repent of being glutenous! 
i mean, do i really need to make cookies every weekend and eat every last one of them, too (not all in one day...over the course of a week, or couple of days...who's really counting)? 
and the answer to that question, my dear friends, is yes, yes i do! maybe i have to do a little extra exercising because of them...but i like to think of them as motivation for working out! :)

jumbo chocolate chip cookies
(from april 2007 issue of rachael ray magazine)
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, chilled
¾ cup granulated sugar
½ cup brown sugar
1 large egg
1¼ cups flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup chocolate chips (i use semi-sweet chocolate chunks! you should too!)

1.preheat the oven to 350°. using an electric mixer, beat the butter with the granulated and brown sugars until just combined and sandy (do not cream). mix in the egg until just combined, about 3 seconds. add the flour, baking soda and salt and mix until just incorporated. mix in the chocolate chips. (seriously, do not changes the consistency of the cookies)

2.on a large ungreased cookie sheet (i like to use parchment paper), drop heaping (i mean large, overflowing, heaping) tablespoonfuls of dough a few inches apart. bake until just golden around the edges, about 20 minutes (ok, i did the 20 minute time the first time i made makes them crispy...i don't like crispy cookies...if you do, then do the full time...the last time i made these...which was on sunday, i only did 14 minutes...they came out perfect for me...soft and chewy!  however, they didn't look done but they, play with the time to make them to your liking). transfer the cookie sheet to a rack to cool completely (i just pull the parchment right off the cookie sheet with the cookies on them onto the counter to cool).

3. enjoy with a glass of fat free milk!  do extra stomach crunches and lunges!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

snip, snip

in december, we had to get little man's hair was so long...and by so long i mean in his eyes and he had wings...and dad was not having it anymore and said he didn't want his little boy to look like a girl...not that we ever thought anyone would mistake jude for a girl...he definitely looks all boy! i tried to take care of the "in his eyes problem," however, i'm not a stylist...and it showed! so, it was time...on a side note, children's hair salons...(are they called salons when it's for a child?)...are very expensive...maybe it's just where i live, but really, $18.00 for a little one's hair cut is pricey!  thanks to my super awesome hairstylist for only charging me way less

here is a peek at the infamous first hair cut...tear...

yes, that is drool on his chin...we were feeding him goldfish to keep him from moving too much! you can also see my terrible bang job...he did so well!  he only wiggled a little...i was so proud of him!  now, i can only hope every time would be that easy...i can only hope...

his new do...

Friday, January 21, 2011

can i keep him?

we had one more photo session with our super talented friends for jude's one year pictures... 

(my loves)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

jude's birthday: robot party

i haven't blogged in a super long time...we've had a house full of sickies...all 3 of us have been sick, and i didn't feel like blogging...but, now i'm back!  so, it's better late than are pictures of jude's robot birthday party...

i made his invitation on my computer and printed them myself. the robot was super easy to make since he's just basic shapes.

i made all of the decorations, cupcake toppers, and jude's birthday hat with scrapbook paper...

since it was a robot theme, we named all of the food robotie names...robot fuel were the drinks, computer chips were potato chips, sprockets (i have no idea what they are)  were cupcakes (my vegan chocolate cupcakes with homemade vanilla icing), and robot wheels and axles were hamburgers and hotdogs (not pictured) were the forks and spoons (for the container i used an old baby formula can...i love to reuse!)

our party favors were pictures of jude in a magnetic frame...the hubs made this "robot" out of his tool box (for the body) and a cheerio box with aluminum foil (for the head)...please excuse the terrible glare!

i made him a vegan chocolate cake with whipped icing...i didn't spend a whole lot of time decorating it since we had the cupcakes, and he was going to end up wearing this one...

 (notice the robot t-shirt...thanks target!)